Not Sure What to Do With Your Kids? Here are Some Simple Ways to "Date" Children

When you look at that cute squalling ball of noise that has your eyes and your husband's thick dark hair, laying there on your bed or in its crib, there seems to be so much time to do everything you want to do. Then you find yourself ten or twenty years later, wondering what happened to all the time. My father-in-law told me that one day, he climbed up on the roof to fix something, came down, and found his kids were grown and getting married. It can seem that fast.

Not exactly Donna Reed

You may be like me. I love my children with a love only a mother bear could understand, but I confess that I'm not overly maternal. I never felt particularly fond of crafts, or found little kids particularly cute or interesting company. I babysat as a teenager, but it was for the money, not the conversation. I consider myself a professional, yet here I am wiping noses and butts, and constantly being begged for stories and games when darn it, I've got work to do. Parenthood doesn't always come automatically for everyone.

So what's a poor grownup to do? Will my children be forever scarred because I can't naturally plan kid-friendly outings and do play dates and themed birthday parties? I personally don't think so, and my confidence has grown over the years as I've watched my four kids grow into basically well-adjusted people.

The key is time.

I found that children didn't care if I could tole paint or sew or make super-cute anything. They cared about hanging around me. The irony is that, even though I am home with my children, it's very easy to spend very little time together. My children are, for the lion's share of the day, off doing their own thing. Time apart grows longer as my kids grow older.

It's natural that this would happen. My children will someday be living away from me. However, I don't want to sever my apron strings entirely when they're only eight or nine. Staying connected to family members has to be a very deliberate effort.

Talk to yourself, and they will join in.