Sexuality and Children: Psychology, Development, Behavior and Healthy Attitudes

Do Children Masturbate?

Why is my child masturbating? What is healthy sexuality for children? Child sexuality can be an edgy issue that people often find uncomfortable. Differing religious or moral views or dogmas can complicate the issue. My research and wisdom are based upon the information we have on child development, my experience at home and in classrooms, and my own common sense.

There are several guidelines to keep in mind when considering child sexuality. It is essential to understand child sexuality within a framework of age-appropriate behavior. As children develop, so does their understanding of things. If a child is in a fairly typical developmental pattern (no major illness or developmental disability), then sexual development follows a pattern also. Age and development dictates every area of learning: social, physical, emotional and sexual. Here's a guideline to help you understand child sexuality:

Fact: Children are curious and love to explore. This will naturally mean that they are curious about their bodies (and others' bodies, too). They love to see what they can do and discover.

Fact: Children investigate with all their senses. Children get more information from touch, taste and smell than they do from seeing and hearing. This will include touching body parts. Just as an infant puts objects in her mouth to explore them, so she will touch body parts to explore.

Fact: Children develop ways to soothe themselves. They stroke soft objects and suck their thumbs. Sometimes they touch their genitals. Children do not masturbate or 'play with themselves'. Not in the negative sense in which that phrase is generally meant. It just feels good. They do not reach climax or orgasm until puberty.

Fact: Children are excellent imitators. They notice how you react to their behavior. They see how you feel about your body or sex. Children imitate people they trust. If your child sees it, he'll do it (or at least try it). A child raised with healthy images of sexual behavior and affection generally develops into a sexually healthy adult. If he sees negative images of inappropriate sex, violence etc., those images imprint upon him.