Kella on the Rocks: The Journey of an Ice Hockey Player

By "On the Rocks," I am referring to the bartender's lingo meaning on ice, not my latest climbing expedition.

Sunday, July 20, 2003 marked the first day that I took to the ice with skates on my feet, pads on my body, a helmet on my bean and a stick in my hand. This is going to be important to remember in a few years when I am elected to the All-Star team for the Women's Professional Hockey League.

After only being on skates a grand total of about 8 times, beginning in 3rd grade at Amber C.'s birthday party at a local ice arena and not having skated since breaking up 7 years previous with "the hockey boyfriend" (now the General Manager of said ice arena), I took to the ice like a duck to water... or, perhaps more appropriately, like a Jesus Christ Lizard to water, as I spent most of my time above the ice rather than submerged in it, like a duck might be in water. But I digress.

So there I was at Castle Ice Arena in the Renton Highlands just east of Seattle, Washington, all dressed up like a hockey player. From helmet to skates, breezers to shoulder pads, hockey socks to gloves, I was ready to go. While many of the other ladies at the Seattle Women's Hockey Club's "Give Hockey a Try" clinic were still trying to figure out exactly why hockey players wear garter belts, I was stepping onto the ice. A few of the more experienced players were out on the ice as I glided onto the freshly Zambonied surface. After several uneasy and very non-graceful strides, I finally remembered how to skate. As I practiced turning, even managing a crossover or two, I skated by a puck and picked it up on my stick like a pro. Realizing that I had never handled a puck on ice before, I began replaying some of the many, many nights I spent watching Don Cherry's Hockey Night in Canada. The highlights of the best players in the world came rushing into my mind and I began to move the puck back and forth on my stick. I circled around the net once, puck on stick, and up to the top of the circle. As I crossed over to the top of the other circle, I unloaded a shot that went sailing into the untended goal. VICTORY WAS MINE!!! I could shoot!!