Tell cousin Willy Bob to go mooch somewhere else.
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Or How to Kick Your Deadbeat Cousin-in-law Out of Your House
Freeloaders and bums are an increasing menace to society today. They can usurp the energy of a somewhat normal, healthy, and productive human being and turn these previously happy individuals into depressed, listless, and angry shells of a person. To avoid this dour demise, there are a few things you can do to escape the clutches of a freeloading, soul-sucking bum.Before we get to how to treat the problem, let's discuss what some of the warning signs are that you have become prey to a soul leech:
1. Insomnia
2. Nausea
3. Headaches
4. General irratibility
5. Increased arguments with significant other
6. Decline in libido
7. Your water, heating, and grocery bills are going up dramatically
8. Extraneous people show up at your house at all hours of the day to visit your "houseguest"
9. You find various things broken around the house for unexplained reasons
10. You find your houseguest critiquing how you keep house even though they never lift a finger to help
11. Your favorite sweater is being used as a bathroom floor mat in the guest bathroom
12. A general feeling of dread, death, and destruction upon waking in the morning
Bums are very clever in that they slowly ease into one's life without you realizing they are a nefarious soul-sucker. However, if you have identified with three or more of the above warning signs, it is most likely you have fallen victim to the freeloader. The most evil kind of course is the extended family freeloader. Beware these beasts of darkness for they are the most lethal type.
There is hope for those sickened by the extra family that are "visiting" only for a few "days" (months, years, etc.). Some tried and true remedies to aid you in your quest to rid your home of these ghouls and recover your health:
1. Stop buying food. Not for yourself and your immediate family of course, but don't let the "houseguest" know you have food. Either go out to eat, or hide the food you do have. A starving houseguest tends to leave sooner than later.
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Comments
Peggy
(Guest)
(Guest)
11/25/2009
Bob you're awesome! Hoohah!
name
(Guest)
(Guest)
08/18/2009
Got cutoff--
If he wants cola, he can buy it himself. Hide it in your closet if you have to. I'm not kidding. Move the tv in your room. Do whatever it takes to make your home as unappealing as possible.
Bottom line: Having your husband as a partner in a developing an exit-strategy for your unwanted rotund visitor is key.
Pat
(Guest)
(Guest)
08/18/2009
Hi Pat,
I'm so sorry about your situation. This is so difficult. How does your husband feel about this? My guess is he's probably not too happy about it either if he's a normal human being.
A 34 year old couch potato (and a rather large one at that) is a total home wrecker. He will suck the life out of your marriage and family if you and your husband don't do something.
I would be gentle in your approach to your husband. Antagonizing him over something he may already feel bad about won't work. Ask him what his plans are concerning his son long-term and voice your concerns over his negative influence on your son. Hopefully, you can let him know how you feel and tell him what you want without getting in an argument. If your husband wants his son to move out on his own, it will be much more efficient than you forcing the issue.
In the meantime, I would ignore him as much as possible and do as little as possible for him. If he wants to eat, he can fix it himself.
Pat
(Guest)
(Guest)
08/14/2009
My husband and I have been together for 16 yrs. We have a 13 yr. old son together, he is a great kid. Last December my husband's son from his first marriage was arrested in Nevada and was brought back to our state to go to court for being a dead-beat Dad. This man is 34 yrs old. He now lives with us, and eats everything...he must weigh close to 400lbs. He sleeps on our couch and is breaking it down. He stays up late and eats all the leftovers in the fridge and drinks all the cola. He unplugs my house phone to charge his cell phone....I'v had it with this freeloading slob. He thinks its funny to let my 13yr old watch crude "R" rated shows after my husband and I go to bed. How do I tell my husband to kick his older son out? I have to or I'm going to leave myself and take my son with me.
Rockin Article!
SickandTired
(Guest)
(Guest)
04/07/2009
My husband has turned into one of these since we moved to Oregon 7 months ago. I have no idea what happened. We lived in Alaska and he was a 40-50hr. kind of worker, a hard worker too, a journeyman roofer. Why does he think that our bills are just going to pay themselves? I told him I'm leaving and he can pay the bills on his own. I am sick a freakin tired of the B.S. This has gone on too long.
judith freeman
(Guest)
(Guest)
04/05/2009
I hate people who are lazy and wont go to work.I just want to be left along.get a life and do stuff for yourself.I did not take you to raise. stand up be a real person.
leenie
(Guest)
(Guest)
03/23/2009
my dad has his cousin and wife in his house. they sit at his pc's all day long, have a stinking rottie in the house (dog), they use washer and dryer, and stove, they only buy a few groceries. they don't help with utilities and have been coming to his home for 3 to 4 months a year since 2001. they r the lowest form of scum.
Ethan
(Guest)
(Guest)
03/18/2009
this kid named Rodshene moved in with me and he is disgusting. He smells like a doghole and his breath reeks! I don't think he even has a toothbrush. He's says his mechanical one is "broken". YEAH RIGHT!!!!
shirley
(Guest)
(Guest)
02/04/2009
tony is a freeloadin scum bag
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