How to Take the Stress Out of Holiday Entertaining

Holiday entertaining can be a joy or a dreaded hassle. Whether you consider entertaining fun or traumatic depends much upon your background and experiences. Guests play an important role in the fun of a party. The host provides the venue, but guests are the lifeblood of the gathering. Toxic guests can ruin a party for everybody, including the host or hostess.

Entertaining used to be fun until I came into contact with a hypercritical social circle. A Martha Stewart wannabe raised the bar. We each had all the crystal, china and flatware needed for an elaborate dinner table, given as wedding presents. I love setting a table with my beautiful crystal, but having people criticize your every decision can take the pleasure out of entertaining.

In the meantime, 'Martha' became an expert at entertaining, hosting dinners every weekend. She soon left me in the dust with her hostess skills. It was not a competition that I ever wanted to enter, and I soon dropped out. The problem was that she could not manage to appreciate the efforts I did make, even sniping with catty remarks to make sure that everybody knew how superior she was to me. Soon the idea of having to host a party with this group became a stress rather than a pleasure.

We probably all have people in our lives that we feel obligated to invite over to keep peace, but should we?

It was great interest that I read an article on the Oprah Winfrey website . The author gives some practical advice about taking the stress out of holiday entertaining.

Meeting in a neutral territory, such as a coffee shop or restaurant is a safe feeling way to enjoy companionship. Inviting people into our home is like an invasion, where they get to inspect our inner lairs and make judgements about us. Holiday entertainment, unfortunately, may involve inviting people into your space that you would just as soon keep out.