Ten Things One Should Know When Traveling to Thailand

Thailand has long been known as the pearl of Southeast Asia - an exotic, tropical paradise full of culture, tradition and beauty. Western money goes far in relative terms. However, since the country is more multi-faceted than advertised, it draws a mixture of visitors (particularly clueless backpackers) who may pass on differing advice on their experiences. As you will soon learn once in the country, Thai locals are also not much help when it comes to offering legitimate information. Here are a few tips for Westerners that may actually be helpful:

1) There was a disturbing statistic published that an estimated 1 out of every 7 Thai people work in the sex industry. Given that the majority of sex workers are women, that number would therefore translate to at least 25% of all women in Thailand. You'll be happy to know that these estimates are way off! Closer to 100% of women between the ages of 4 and 85 in Thailand are prostitutes.

2) Do not attempt to play a Thai hooker in "Connect 4". You'll get served and it will provide ample opportunity for one of their colleagues to pick your pocket or slip something in your drink.

3) Every time a Thai person smiles at you, you get a new rash. Enjoy it.

4) Prices are inflated for tourists, so barter! If you listen to Thai people engage in commerce, you'll soon learn that everything in Thailand costs 50 baht (currently 1.36 USD). Meal: 50 Baht. Taxi: 50 Baht. Hotel: 50 Baht. Happy ending massage: 50 Baht. Parasailing 50 Baht - for an additional 50 Baht, they will jump off the parasail or give you a happy ending massage during the ride.

5) The Indian Ocean side of the "elephant's trunk" totes many geographic wonders, particularly around the Krabi Province. Tourist destinations on this side harbor a majority of Australians, Swedish families on vacation and Japanese honeymooners. The Gulf of Thailand side presents more subtle geographic beauty and a plethora of dirty, randy, drunken Brits, eager to have a go with other dirty, randy, drunken Brits. For a better Gulf of Thailand experience, go to England.