Some Short Jokes

Some short jokes

Two peanuts walk into a bar.

One was a salted.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

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A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

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Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.

Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

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Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, straight up, no bull!"

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before

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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy"

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Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!