Where Do You Think You Are?

The greatest line ever was, "Where do you think you are?"

And Simon was right! It's the home of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Hicks. Millionaires. Making millions. SELLING millions. Even people who don't win are selling millions. Bo Vice and Clay Aiken ring a bell?

And what about Jennifer Hudson tearing up the Golden Globes?

So, what did Simon mean by that? It's easy. It's American Idol.

In other words, what business do you have of coming in here looking like an idiot and not being able to carry a tune in a bucket? This is not the local karaoke. This is not mom and pop's talent contest. This is American Idol and millions of people are watching. The winner gets a life handed to them on a silver platter with a recording contract, a tour...etc. A car, a plane, clothes...etc. You might even get to beat Faith Hill in the CMT music awards. That's how big this show is.

And you want to come in here looking like Modern Amish guy or Apollo Creed from Rocky, sing like you don't have any sense and expect to pass through. What are you thinking? Where do you think you are?

But, they make the show. If everyone was great and Simon, Randy and Paula had to crack down, the show would be all about honest critique and good talent. For two hours. At least, these American Idiots offer us a comic relief. They lose all the dignity they have left for 5 minutes of television time. And some of them I think are categorical. I mean, categorical and certifiable.

They cannot carry a tune and whoever told them they could needs slapped. They dance stupid, forget the words and do all kinds of goofy things.

A lady brought a picture she drew of the yellow brick road and sang from Wizard of Oz like the lion. Complete with grrrs. "Just go! Please? ... Try the other door!"

A guy was juggling. He couldn't sing. And he could barely juggle.

It's not a variety show people! Get out! All of you! Yes, that means you too!

Then they cry when Simon says, "Hey, at least now you know you suck. You can move on with your life."

"That son of a @#&%! They cut me off. They wouldn't let me finish."

"They don't know what they're missing!"