A Quick Primer about Multiracial Adoption and Families

In 2005, adoption is more common than ever before.   In 2004, nearly 23,000 children were adopted internationally by United States citizens, and that doesn't include domestic adoption across race lines here in this country.  Companies are starting to realize this, and we’re seeing families that were obviously formed by adoption in major national ad campaigns, much to my delight. To my delight, it seems I’m seeing families formed by adoption nearly everywhere I go these days. I am the mother of a Hispanic daughter, adopted from Guatemala. She’s been with us since she was an infant, and in the past few years, we’ve encountered many types of comments.

“What language does she speak?” This query came to me as I pushed my sleeping eleven-month-old daughter through a department store. “Toddler” was my reply, and I kept on walking, leaving the inquisitive saleswoman in my dust. Did she really think an infant from another country would speak Spanish?

“Is that your natural daughter?” I resisted the urge to respond with “nope, we cloned her” but instead quietly stated her birthplace and let the interested (nosy?) party slowly figure it out.

“Is your husband dark?” Clearly the worker at the Sno-Cone stand was trying to figure out how my fair, blond-haired self could have a daughter with such dark hair and olive skin. “Nope,” I cheerily replied, and left her to wonder.

“Do you know anything about her real mother?” This is my favorite. Because yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I’m a stay-at-home mom. I like pets and sushi and wine. I am afraid of spiders. My favorite show is E.R. Anything else you want to know? Because her real mother is right here. And yes, I realize that you mean her birthmother. But my daughter’s adoption story is private, as is her birthmom’s, and it’s for them to share with whom they want, when they want to. It isn’t mine.