Hot Careers for 2007!

Thinking Outside of the Box Can Result in a Lucrative Career

As the national unemployment rate skyrocketed to 4.5 percent yesterday, authorities remain concerned over the number of able-bodied men and women unable to find gainful employment. "It's getting really tough out there. Even for college graduates," said Wilton Fraleigh, U.S. Labor Secretary.

"People who have depended on their education and experience are finding it necessary to come up with more creative career solutions," said Nicola Speranza, Career Counselor at Isaias Scrichfield Community College in Pumpkin Center, Missouri. So, to solve the problem, the Bush Administration has published its annual list of "hot careers" in an effort to get their constituents back to work. Here is a brief list of the most sought after professions for 2007:

Colonic Hydrotherapy Technician - Many chiropractors, naturopaths and assorted practitioners believe that the inside of the digestive tract is the mirror to the soul. So, to keep it smelling springtime fresh, Colonic Hydrotherapy Technicians flush more than 20 gallons of water, herbs, enzymes and coffee through thirty inches of rubber hose, up where the sun doesn't shine. Training consists of 100 hours of intensive online training and computer simulations followed by a final examination where examinees administer treatments to one another.

Odor Judge - Ever wonder how your favorite antiperspirant made it from the test tube to your arm pit? Odor Judges are faced with the daunting task of evaluating thousands of scents under a variety of real life situations to determine which product performs best under stressors such as a first date, obtaining a learner's permit or surviving a job interview. Odor Judges must complete 1500 hours of training that includes anatomy, physiology, biochemistry and scent identification.