Top 5 Things Not to Do when Dumping Your Significant Other

Many people know how hard it can be to dump someone. Sometimes, it just has to be done. Maybe she cheated on you, or he hurt you, or it's just not working out in general. Even when you know that neither of you is feeling any connection or chemistry, sometimes sating those words and officially ending the relationship can be torture. At times, while a relationship is not working, you'd like to maintain a friendship. This can be very hard to do, and, I'll admit, not always possible. I can't tell you how to make it happen since every situation is different (and I haven't mastered that yet, myself). However, I can tell you what doesn't work, and what you should never do when dumping someone (and that I have mastered, unfortunately).

1. Do not use clichés or be mysterious - If you want to remain friends with your soon-to-be-ex you need to tell him or her why you feel the relationship is not working. Saying something like "It's not you, it's me" or "maybe someday you'll understand" not only does not explain anything, but also shows your future ex hat you don't care about or trust him enough to tell him how you feel. You're leaving a raw and unresolved problem, and it would be difficult to get around it in a friendship.

2. Do not do it online or over the phone - This is the "cowardly" way to do it, and I'll be the first to admit that it's tempting. But, like in my previous point, it just makes the other feel like you don't care. It's also easier to lie when you're not in person, whether you intend to or just inadvertently try to hide your feelings.

3. Do not have someone else do it for you - I went out with a guy for a week once, and it simply wasn't working, so I told him we needed to talk. He agreed to meet with me later. I told a friend how I felt and that I was planning on dumping him. Before I got a chance to end the relationship myself, my then-boyfriend instant messaged me online. "I know what you wanted to talk to me about. So-and-so told me." This is a horrible way for a relationship to end. Even though I was going to end it anyway, this hurt ten times more. Don't do this. Seriously. (Needless to say, I did not remain friends with either of them for much longer).