How to Romance a Menopausal Woman

Whenever something like Valentine's Day approaches, there are always things written about what a man should give his better half. You'd think that such knowledge should be instinctive to a man who's been married to a woman for a long while, but, in many cases, he becomes even more clueless about what it takes to please his spouse.

This is never more apparent than when a wife is going through menopause and her hubby suddenly hasn't any idea of what to do for this person who swings between being a laid-back, normal individual and a bad-tempered harpy.

If you really want to show us some love, guys, here are some suggestions:

Admit we are right about absolutely everything.

Even if this is not truly the case, the trick is that you say we are.

When that menopausal babe in your life accuses you of purposely committing some trivial "crime", such as moving her copy of The Ladies' Home Journal or misplacing the bottle of Fabreze, confess to it, even if you know for a fact that you were never remotely close to these items. Make certain you sound sincerely contrite, so she won't figure out your game plan.

This way, it denies her the opportunity to engage you in some petty, pointless argument that you know you can never win. She'll probably be suspicious and a little miffed for not getting the chance to exercise the irritability typical of her "condition", but you're safe, as long as she can't prove you're faking.

Ignore our physical changes.

Your woman may have starting exhibiting physical changes, due to her "life transition". It may be apparent that her hair is getting a little thinner, her skin might be a little drier and a few pounds possibly have been added to her tender little frame.

Whatever you do, don't mention it, not even in joking! Many a male has put himself in harm's way by "just kidding" and making remarks he thinks are amusing..

Statements like "The last time I caressed skin like that was when I had a pet lizard!" will get you a verbal tongue-lashing you won't soon forget and/or a night of exile to the sofa.