Advice for Parents of Adopted Children: How and When to Talk About Adoption

You've adopted a child, and now you have some questions about how to best blend your child into your family. Ensuring that your adopted child will always feel that he or she is a complete and unadulterated member of your family, as precious as any biological child could ever be, is likely your first goal. And I know from experience that the question of how and when to discuss with an adopted child how he or she came to be a member of your family can be a confusing one. I would like to offer up some simple advice that can demystify some of the questions, and alleviate some of the concerns that you may have about this process.

The answer is far simpler than most parents of adopted children realize. Talk openly and naturally about adoption with your adopted child, and start early. The mind of a child is incredibly pliable and adaptive. Children are better able to learn a second language the earlier it is introduced, according to many child development experts, and the same theory applies to the understanding and acceptance of realities of their lives, like a child's adoptive status in a family

As a child adopted by parents with two adopted children and one natural child, I have always enjoyed what I consider to be a well-rounded perspective of some of the psychological dynamics of adoption. I have had extended discourses with a large number of adopted children, over the years, as well, with myriad experiences and life stories. I can tell you that, with few exceptions, the highest number of adopted children who experience few or no adaptive issues regarding their status as adopted children are those who had the concept and language of adoption present in their lives since before or shortly after they had the cognitive abilities to understand what the concept or the language even meant.

To put it more simply, have the words "adopted" and "adoption" around before the child understands what they mean, and your child is less likely to feel the confusion or anxiety that some children experience after being "told" they were adopted.

Adoptive families are "real" families.

Credit: Hortongrou

Copyright: Hortongrou