A Gentle Parent's View of Corporal Punishment - Calling Spanking Out for What it Is

People call it spanking, popping, smacking, paddling and a number of other things that often make it sound less serious than it really is. I believe it's an assault. It is violence against our young; some of the most vulnerable beings on the planet. What's worse is that it is violence inflicted on children by the very people that are supposed to protect and cherish them.

I do not look at spanking as simply another choice a parent can make, but rather as a violation of the human rights of a child. Is it acceptable to hit your spouse or partner because they have angered you? Is it appropriate to strike a co-worker because they have done something you don't approve of? Of course it isn't, and if you were to try it I suspect the police would promptly make an appearance to discuss it with you. Animals are even protected from violence, and rightly so, but it leaves me wondering why we as a society have left our children vulnerable to it.

Children need to be able to trust their parents, and I feel that corporal punishments do not help build that kind of bond. I do not trust people that hurt and frighten me. Spanking is meant to hurt and frighten. I have heard many parents say they never actually hurt their child when giving a spanking. "We don't hit hard enough to hurt them. It's just enough to get their attention." they explain. If we really examine the situation we can see that the attention a parent is getting from a spanking is from fear. I think most of us know that hitting people hurts. Perhaps there are varying degrees of pain depending on the individual hit, but spankings depend on pain and the fear of future pain in the form of more spankings or they wouldn't be a (so called) effective tool for disciplining children. Parents know that the child won't want to experience another spanking, and they hope that the fear of another spanking will cause them to behave. This is all rooted in fear. We don't change our behavior in order to avoid comfortable and enjoyable things, after all. The motivation a spanked child has for changing their behavior is the fear of pain rather than the desire to do what is right because they understand why something is right.