How Parents Can Use Sibling Rivalry to Their Advantage

In public my three older children were a perfect display of harmonious coexistence. They were polite to each other, held hands when crossing streets and even engaged in conversation. Once behind the closed front door of our home the amiability used to come to a screeching halt. The arguments would start. I could not understand how such well mannered children could not get along. It was hard to keep peace in my home with the constant tattling, bickering, teasing and fighting. I used to console myself with the knowledge that sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up and that they would eventually grow out of it. In reality there are still some people out there that are still involved in some form or the other of sibling rivalry. I decided finally to do some thing about it; to make it work for me. I used and continue to use sibling rivalry to teach my children valuable life lessons.

There are many reasons for sibling rivalry: age, gender, child spacing are some of them. What it boils down to is that sibling rivalry results in jealousy and competition that continues throughout childhood.

√Handling the relationships life throws at you
For the most part we do not choose our siblings or our parents. In life outside the home we don’t choose who our classmates are in school or in some instances who our workmates are. Socially, in world with a mish mash of personalities, we are all somehow expected to get along. The training for this endeavor should start at home. Just as the world is made up of different personalities, children within a home have different personalities. You cannot expect the children to react the same way to similar situations. I constantly remind my children of this. Explain to your children that sometimes putting ourselves in another’s shoes (figuratively and literally) can help us understand each other better. We have had many role playing games to prove that point.