My Level 1 Grievance Against Santa Claus

Mr. Santa Claus

North Pole

I represent Mo Morrissey. As his representative, this will serve as formal notification of a Level I grievance, as required under the social contract between S. Claus, Inc. (hereinafter known as "Santa") and "All the Good Boys and Girls" (hereinafter known as "the Kids"), for the inappropriate placing of Mo on the "Naughty" list and without good cause.

Speaking to Mo's membership in the "the Kids" class, while he is sufficiently of age as to no longer be covered by the term "boy," we refer you to the 1944 Mel Torme song, "The Christmas Song," wherein the group "kids" is defined as "...from one to ninety-two." As this definition has gone unchallenged, it is the working definition of those covered under this social contract, and Mo clearly falls within the boundaries.

We take the position that Santa without good cause placed him on the "Naughty" list and treated Mo as such for purposes of gift giving in the Christmas of 2008. Any evidence that Mo has, in fact, been naughty this year, is procedurally barred due to the failure to properly notify him of this assignment to the naughty list.

Article I of the social contract states that no kid will be placed on the naughty list without good cause and Santa will not arbitrarily or capriciously appoint such kid to the naughty list without due process. Mo was given no notice of his placement on the Naughty list, nor was any opportunity given to hear evidence or speak to the charges against him. Santa, in this case, placed Mo on the list in violation of the social contract.