Everyone gets angry at one time or another. Anger is a perfectly normal emotion, and to express anger is normal, as long as it is expressed appropriately. The problem that many people have when expressing their anger is that they lose control of their emotions and act out in some way. The prison systems are full of men and women who lost control of their emotions. Parents lose control and beat their children. Children are killed every day due to an angry parent. Men and women die every day at the hands of their significant others.
There is nothing wrong with arguing, if it is done in an acceptable way. The problem with most people is that they don't know how to argue in a fair and respectful manner. They just say whatever comes to mind and one tries to undercut the other. You may feel you are right all the time, and force the issue, but is it fair to fight this way? Would you rather be happy, or is it more important to be right all the time. If you are one to bully your way through an argument, neither of you will be happy.
Tip 1 on how to argue effectively with your partner
Reassure your partner it is safe to talk about issues in your relationship.
Remember that men and women are built differently. Your differences aren't just on the outside, but also on the inside. We women are wired differently than men. Men think differently than we do. Women are more inclined to want to communicate if there is a problem in the relationship, but men seem to feel that they might end up losing their partners if they open up. Men often feel if they don't talk about any issues in the relationship that everything is fine in it. I'm here to tell you that isn't true. My husband and I never argued once in our relationship. We never discussed any issues that came up. Rather than bring up an issue that might "rock the boat," I didn't say anything. When our marriage was finally over I was blind sided. I didn't know we really had a problem because we never communicated. We had become roommates, and not life partners.
Tip 2 on how to argue effectively with your partner
Reassure your partner that it is safe to express your feelings.
There is nothing wrong with arguing, if it is done in an acceptable way. The problem with most people is that they don't know how to argue in a fair and respectful manner. They just say whatever comes to mind and one tries to undercut the other. You may feel you are right all the time, and force the issue, but is it fair to fight this way? Would you rather be happy, or is it more important to be right all the time. If you are one to bully your way through an argument, neither of you will be happy.
Tip 1 on how to argue effectively with your partner
Reassure your partner it is safe to talk about issues in your relationship.
Remember that men and women are built differently. Your differences aren't just on the outside, but also on the inside. We women are wired differently than men. Men think differently than we do. Women are more inclined to want to communicate if there is a problem in the relationship, but men seem to feel that they might end up losing their partners if they open up. Men often feel if they don't talk about any issues in the relationship that everything is fine in it. I'm here to tell you that isn't true. My husband and I never argued once in our relationship. We never discussed any issues that came up. Rather than bring up an issue that might "rock the boat," I didn't say anything. When our marriage was finally over I was blind sided. I didn't know we really had a problem because we never communicated. We had become roommates, and not life partners.
Tip 2 on how to argue effectively with your partner
Reassure your partner that it is safe to express your feelings.
Comments
Good tips!
Great article! :-)
I know arguing is a normal part of a marriage from time to time, but I still prefer to discuss issues that come up in a reasonable, quiet manner. It's easy to say things you will later regret when you argue in the heat of anger.
Sophie
A very unique article - yet, somehow, I nor wife wins an argument. We just shout for a few minutes and then hug..
This is an excellent article. Beautifully done. :-)
wow great one..but why argue when i'm right..lol
wow great tips!!!!
very good
I was given advice once about couples that don't argue, don't take marriage advice from them, if they don't argue, they aren't talking to each other.
Wow!!! Great article...It is so very important to communicate...In our 25 year relationship we talk about everything....no matter what....awesome advice...
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