Lady in the Water: Netflix Movie Review in 500 Words or Less

Movie Name: Lady in the Water

Stars: Paul Giamatti (starred in that wine movie Sideways and with Russell Crowe in Cinderella Man), Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard's daughter that was the blind girl in "The Village")

Directed by: weirdo cool movie director M. Night Shamalayan, same guy who made Sixth Sense and Signs

What's it about? It's about a guy who does maintenance in an apartment building called "The Cove". At night he hears splashing in the pool (that you aren't supposed to swim in after 7pm). One night he catches the culprit, a pretty mermaid-looking girl named Story. He thinks she's drowned, he jumps in the pool, he almost drowns, she brings him home, and then she basically tells him that she needs help getting home. Maintenance man finds out that she's part of a story (how convenient) and, through the help of his apartment friends, they try to help her get home.

Why you should watch it: I loved the theme that people are all important in one way or another and that you really may not find your significance in the world when you want to. You might think you're destined to be a writer, but writing might help you get to your real destiny of being a fire fighter or something. People are capable of anything when backed into a corner.

What sucks about this movie: it takes waaaaaaay too long for the pieces to come together. Yes, most of his movies are like that where you really need to pay attention to the little things, but usually they build up in a believable way that keeps you engaged, like Signs and The Village. But this was just too much time, especially when mixed with those close up camera angles that looked like they were designed to make you watch this film as if you were swimming slowly in the ocean.

Also, I don't think that if some guy came to my room and said "hey, I've got a lady in my apartment that needs help. She's dying. She needs to get better so that a grass dog doesn't kill her and a giant eagle can pick her up", I would go with him. I don't care how many of my light bulbs he fixed, it's not happening.