Escaping Domestic Violence: How Leaving an Abusive Husband Changed My Life

Your fifth grade teacher, Mr. Z., at Bigelow Elementary School introduces you to another world. The world of great science fiction. He reads aloud to your class nearly every single afternoon. You put your head down on your desk and listen to the words, suddenly transported from your hard wooden seat in a dreary public school to far-away worlds. Your favorite story is about a group of children in a grade school on a distant planet where it rains every single day, except one. Every five years, the clouds lift and the sun comes out to shine on a muddy, steel-gray world for just a few precious hours.

Your first husband introduces you to another world. He is charming and handsome on your dates. He says all the right things. He appears sensitive and kind, the family type of man you've dreamed of. He takes you to the ballet. He's well educated and has a good job. He makes you laugh. And as you look at him with all of your love, hope, and admiration, you will never dream where this man will take you. Straight to the bottom of a pit of domestic violence and abuse. Looks can be deceiving.

When you first meet his mildly prominent family, his beautifully dressed sisters smile enigmatically while sitting on the overstuffed and expensive sofa and chairs in his parents' 6,000-square-foot house and tell you that their brother is the catch of your small town. The most eligible bachelor for miles around. Three months later, you marry him, with the full endorsement of his family. And all of a sudden you have a last name that people know and recognize. It gets you treated with deference at the department stores. Near reverence in some circles. You've never been treated like this before. And you like it. A lot. You attend splendid parties and dinners and gala events, sometimes with politicians or the occasional television celebrity.

And then the threats come. The domestic violence brews up about as quickly as a thunderstorm on the plains outside of your bedroom window. It's tornado weather.