Weird News: Crazy People of the New Year

Crazy or just nasty? Richard Batista wants his kidney back! After his wife cheated on him, then filed for divorce, Batista wants the kidney he selflessly lent her four years before she took the kidney and ran. But he's not letting her get away that easy. No, he held a press conference to tell the world that he's a big whiney infant who wants his liver to be liberated from the body cavity of the mother of his 3 children. I guess she only deserves a liver if she's married to him. I only wonder what the kids must be thinking about knowing daddy would like to rip open their mother's body and yank out an internal organ. Well, either that or he'll settle for $1.5 million dollars. Say goodbye to your college fund, kids!

A woman in Sioux Falls, South Dakota faked giving birth when she was caught allegedly stealing a keychain. Don't you hate when you get caught shoplifting and you have to go to all that trouble and have a baby to get out of it? She was rushed the hospital in an ambulance. Her method acting technique was going well until...it turns out the little thespian wasn't even the teeniest big pregnant. Oh, what a tangled web we weave! And what does she get for all her hard work for the sake of a keychain? The ambulance bill delivered to her like a little screaming bundle of joy she didn't deliver.

Blow up dolls everywhere, make sure your doors are locked and your blinds down because there is a serial blow up doll molester on a rampage in Cairns, Australia. He's targeting adult stores where he can fin d plenty of unsuspecting victims taking naps in back rooms with the rest of the store's inventory. He sneaks in and pilfers the "Jungle Jane" blow up dolls and takes them into a back alley to perform unsavory acts upon. When he's done, he leaves them in the alley. Police are on the hunt, but until they find the culprit be sure to keep your blow up dolls securely fastened in whatever dark closet you keep her, and consider signing her up for some self-defense classes.