Horrorific Reviews

Alien vs. PredatorI know, I know, it already sounds horrible. I'll give it this. It was better than Freddy vs. Jason. When a science crew discovers a lost city, they do all they can to dig it out of an icy cocoon. Little do they know, Predators already have their eyes on the city. It turns out that the city houses Aliens, which the Predators hunt to prove their manhood. Fight scenes are shot in close-ups and the whole movie is dark. I was really disappointed to only see three Predators in the film. One brilliant thing is the use of Lance Henriksen as the owner of the company that eventually creates his android lookalike. While there were some likeable thins about this Predator sequel and Alien prequel, I expected a lot more. I think I'll wait for the DVD on the next vs. farce.

Back Woods

Pick ‘n Flick Features, 2001

Director: Grant WoodhillWriter: David C. Hayes

Starring: David C. Hayes, Jim Edberg, Anna Shemeikka

Grade: B+

Deep in the darkness of the Back Woods lies a family's horrible secret. Abandoned as a baby, the sexless Mangina has been left to be raised by animals. Upon its death, Mangina curses the woods, and all who enter it. Soon after, even deeper in the woods, Deke impregnates his transvestite lover, Luann, and quickly departs. Thirty years later, Luann births a full grown man from her ass. Think that's bizarre? The thirty-year-old man is born wearing boots and hiking shorts. He is born a genius until an accident turns him into a retard. When his mother is killed by drunken teens, Luther goes on a rampage of ridiculous proportions. This movie is fun to watch for its insanity, from the gas station that isn't a gas station, to the trans-gender dance moves of David Hayes. This story is also soon to be released in comic book form.

42nd Street Forever: Horror on 42nd Street

Ban 1 Productions, 2004

Grade: A