How I Parented Through Piercing

Was it a surprise when our lovely 18 year old went off to college in another city and called one day with this thought? Not really.

"Mom, I'm thinking that I want to get my nose pierced. You know I want one of those little diamond sparkles right there; I think it will give me edge." The little voice that is never loud enough to have an impact is whispering to me. Do not overreact. Quietly take it in, reflect, react calmly...

"I know you won't like it, but I really, really want to do this. I've called the place and they are really sanitary. They are members of the Association of Professional Piercers. I think I'm going to do it." Is she asking for permission? Does she think I will give it? I go to my safe haven: financing.

"Your father and I will not pay for it. Where will you get the money?"

"Oh, it's not that much, I can pay for it." Darn. I am quickly searching for another obstacle.

"It will leave a scar. Why do you want to damage your beautiful skin?" I know I am not going to get the response I desire, but I am buying time.

"Mom, I can always take it out, and it will heal. I really think I'll do it. " I realize neither of us is looking for an agreement where there cannot be one, but I decide to state the obvious. I have no where else to go.

" I do not understand nose piercings, I see no reason for you to pierce your nose. Do not look to me or your father for permission to do this. We will not give it. This will be your decision. You will live by it and with it. Nor will we start an ugly precedent of telling you you cannot do it. You are 18. You are no longer a minor. You earn and spend your own money. This and many other far more important things are your call. You have my advise, it is not to do it. You may proceed from there.