ADD is a Myth

This is an opinion/satire piece. Easily offended persons should read elsewhere.

Hate me if you will, but I must spout off on what I think is either a universal conspiracy by the pharmaceutical companies to induce the public into believing that human quirks are really diseases or just a bunch of powerful hypochondriacs getting their kicks. First off, the infamous ADD/ADHD infuriates me. The Attention Defecit Disorder Association (www.add.org) states that the disease is characterized by "... symptoms of inability to maintain attention, impulsive behaviors and/or motor restlessness." Wow, that describes like every three year old I know! They must all be riddled with poor neurotransmitters. Come on people! Wake up! What is with this country that we must make up a disease for every little quirky indiosyncracy we have? Stop feeding the mongo-pharmacy companies our cash!

Look at the facts, homosexuality used to be considered a psychological disorder. Isn't even remotely possible that daydreaming is just being fancifully renamed "attention defecit disorder"? Do you know there is actually a Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) and Chronic Skin Pickers Disease (CSPD)? When will the madness end??

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are exceptions that really have a problem. However, I bet you the majority of kids put on Ritalin and other evil drugs are ... guess what... suspense.. suspense... just BEING KIDS!!! That's right, in the old days they called it imagination, rambuctiousness, and being energetic, but we are in the modern age now, and we must stamp out the idea of children not focusing on their studies in kindegarten. We must repress the spirit of independence and sillyhearts! Down with childhood activity! Let us raise snails that drool at their school desks and mindlessly wander quietly through life! If little Johnny is more interested in doodling a cartoon in his notebook than listening to the 5,000 year old teacher drone on about pronouns, then he must be sick. Drug that boy! Seriously folks, how can we justify feeding mind altering drugs to children as young as four years old??