Living on the Wild Side of Bipolar Illness

I had to visit the shrink yesterday. I was not particularly thrilled because I awoke feeling happy for a change and I knew he would be an immediate buzz kill. Deciding that yesterday was the day I did not need any of the seventeen pills to keep me stable I decided to flush all $1500.00 worth down the toilet. I love my manic highs and do not want anything standing between me and my euphoria. I become blind to the early symptoms of impending doom and havoc that mania can bring upon me and everyone around me. However, I became "too happy" too fast and the good ole doctor actually was wakened by my madcap voice and had to pay attention. Although, I sure didn't want him taking notice of my expansive and irritable mood. Irritable because he was new and we were just not jiving as of yet like Dr. Rosa and I had.

I jumped out of bed early to make myself presentable for him. Believe me, your appearance is the first thing they mark off on their check list because I have snuck a peak at that sacred document. I didn't want to go in there looking like a tatterdemalion so I scrubbed for forty five minutes in the shower. I even shaved my legs. And it's a hard thing to do for a fat woman to shave her legs in the shower. The blood loss was tantamount to when I cut my wrist, but I managed to stop the bleeding with about twenty band aids and an ace bandage.

It was then time to move on to the finer maintenance of the face. I plucked out the gray and overgrown eyebrows that had me looking like Einstein. Then I felt that one course hair on my chin. I searched and searched for that damn thing before I finally grabbed it and then the tweezers weren't strong enough to pull it out. I'm telling you this sucker had spread out roots.

I was careful not to put on too much makeup and dressed conservatively although it took every once of will power I could muster up. I made sure everything matched, including my shoes. Sometimes I buy two pair of the exact shoe but in different colors and then wear one of each color. He would have looked at this as a bad sign. However, he could not make a checkmark on his list by: bizarre appearance/activities.