When is Divorce the Best Solution?

It's usually difficult to know what to do when a marriage has fallen into a rut. Spouses have a lot invested in each other; not only are there matters like shared finances, assets, and living circumstances to consider, but also the whole emotional life that's been built up around the partnership. Ideally, people will want to consider every possible approach to saving a marriage before deciding to dissolve it. Marriage counselors can help to put the problems occurring within a relationship in perspective; they can also aid the personal growth and recovery of each partner in the event that they choose to separate.

Sometimes the issue is best addressed with a pragmatic approach: simply weighing the advantages of staying together versus the advantages of living apart. There is a lot to consider above and beyond how married couples feel about each other. They're likely to have shared friends, in-laws whom they've grown close to; perhaps they've become used to moving in similar social circles throughout the time that they've been together. If they have children together then this, of course, is a major factor to consider. It might be helpful to draw up a list of all the pros and cons, in order to see more clearly what one stands to gain and lose by making either choice.

Another way for partners to gauge the odds of their relationship surviving the long haul is for each of them to honestly examine their dreams and goals for the future. For example, do they have a shared vision to sustain them together beyond the time when their children have grown up and left the house? Do they foresee traveling, or changing careers, in their future? How will staying together, or divorcing, nurture or interfere with these goals?