Confessions of a Drunk Driver: Selfishness, Sickness and Shame

When we hear of incidents where unsuspecting motorists in the wrong place at the wrong time are victims of someone's irresponsible and deadly decision to drive drunk, it incites sorrow and anger in us. Sometimes a whole family is wiped out at once, while the perpetrating drunk walks away with barely a scratch. How much of in injustice is this? We want stiff penalties for such senseless and atrocious offenses, rightfully so.

Well, who are these offenders? Are they mean and dangerous people who don't care if they kill others? Sometimes. But a lot of the time they are people just like anyone else, minus one monumental defect: extreme self-absorption.

I spent 12 years as a desperate and miserable alcoholic, 8 of those years as a driver, and will reveal here my past shameful experience as a regular drunk driver.

There are questions reasonable people would want a drunk driver to answer. I will do my best to answer them and offer insight into the mind of someone who has made this bad decision repeatedly.

How did it ever come to be that you thought it was okay to get behind the wheel in this condition and endanger lives?

I never thought drunk driving was okay when I was sober, only when I was drunk. At those times I only cared about the fact that I wanted to get from point A to point B. I didn't want to surrender my car and my perceived control, or be at the mercy of anyone else. I say perceived control because when drunk it can feel like you are totally in control, when in fact that could not be further from the truth. The reasoning ability I'd have before would be compromised more with each drink.

How many DWIs have you gotten and how many accidents have you been involved in?

In all the years and times I drove drunk, somehow I never had an accident and never got a DWI. There were two different times that I was pulled over extremely drunk, minutes after leaving the bar at closing time. One of the times I was going 75 in a 45mph zone. The officer wrote me a ticket, but never even questioned whether or not I had been drinking, even though I had been--for more than 7 hours.