Unaddressed Valentine

I hesitate,

and in that one moment, all is lost.

All the courage that I had

to send this out just now,

so that it would arrive, barely on time,

at your door and give you a rush

of happy comfort and simple joy

in receiving the last valentine of the day,

it has all vanished in this one moment

of tortured hesitation. As I ran

my finger, one last time, tightly over the seal

before flipping the envelope lightly

to pen out your name in my most elegant script,

my thoughts changed course, racing in another direction.

Gone from my mind was the delightful image

of you rushing to open it, yet trying

to be careful, then smiling with the sweetest

satisfaction at what I'd placed inside.

Instead I saw my carefully crafted surprise,

arriving last of the day as I'd planned,

but being an unwelcomed last, the one received

long after the one you'd eagerly awaited,

the unnecessary one, the one you had not wanted.