Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad

For the first time since my wife and I married, I am not the breadwinner in our house. Last year I decided to go to graduate school, which meant giving up my job and staying at home with our three children while my wife supports our family. My wife was very supportive of my decision to stay at home with the kids while she went off and worked. I now know why. Six months of being Mr. Mom has taught me why - and a few other things.

Things I've learned the hard way.

Dry Clean Only
Clothes come with little tags inside that tell you how to wash them. When the little tag says "Dry Clean Only", they really mean it. Also on a side note, should you wash your wife's favorite pair of dry clean only slacks, try not to convince her that they would make a nice pair of Capri's.

I See Irrational People
All day long, I deal with little irrational beings who for no particular reason decide they must go potty, lose their shoes or want a drink every time we need to go somewhere. You can't really reason with them, so sorry to those child psychologists who insist you can. Maybe you can reason with your kid over the author's use of symbolism in Hop on Pop, but when my child refuses to accept that a jelly and peanut butter sandwich is the exact same thing as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, no amount of logic has yet convinced them otherwise.

Washing Dishes
Don't try using Tide in the dishwasher - unless you also wanted to mop the floor. Although I did earn cool points with the kids when the suds started gushing from the dishwasher.

You Will be Late
No matter what you do. No matter how early you try to leave. You will be late. Just deal with it.

What has Happened to Time?
I had more time when I was working all day. I thought being at home would enable me to have all the time in the world, but was I ever wrong. I am convinced that somewhere in our house is a vortex that sucks away time.

Cartoons
I'm trying to remember, but aren't there some movies out there that aren't cartoons? I have this vague, shadowy recollection of films that featured real people.