Good Communication Deters Loneliness in Marriage

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Communication is an essential part of marriage. People obviously have emotions and feelings, but more importantly, the question is-- do we communicate what we feel? The most dangerous of expectations, and certainly the most destructive, is that each person ought to know what the other person wants without any kind of verbal communication. Thus the common "If you love me, you ought to know," and "I ought not to have to tell you" kind of thinking.

So, how do you know if you are lonely in your relationship? Here are the symptoms that spell bad communication:

1. When you begin to notice that, although your mate is a regular bon vivant with everyone else, things certainly change when it comes to you. The two of you can be mumbling something to each other over breakfast, but the minute the phone rings and the other answers it, his voice becomes animated and alive. You find yourself wishing you were the "other person" on the phone.

2. When you feel moods of sadness almost out of nowhere especially when you are alone, then one day you find yourself telling yourself that the marriage is "just that way" then you feel cheated but you don't know any specific reasons.

3. You feel indifferent to each other's problems and interests-- when no one provides a sympathetic ear, there is simply no comforting interest on anybody's part. Then we resort to logic all the time to shrug of our wounded feelings.

4. You feel disillusioned and bored with your relationship. You feel like you need to be in the company of other couples or other people in order to have fun.

5. Courtesy, gentleness, and caring attitude is becoming extinct within the relationship. No more love tokens, or "just for nothing" presents, dating, and birthday or anniversary gifts become nothing but just "rituals."

6. You feel that other people would understand you better than your mate.

7. You feel in a rut and spend a good portion of your time daydreaming about being in some other relationship.

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