Life Outside the Closet Door: Finding Your Place in Gay Society

Coming out of the closet is one of the most liberating moments in a gay man or lesbian woman's life. Many gay men and lesbian women feel relieved that they no longer have to hide behind their true sexual identity. Coming out of the closet and facing the reactions of your family and friends is indeed something of which you can be proud. Coming out of the closet and finding your place in Gay and Lesbian society can be just as rewarding and just as interesting of an experience that will have an impact on your life on many levels.

As you begin your journey into embracing your sexual orientation, you may start to wonder if there is a certain way that you should dress, walk, talk, or present yourself to others. The best advice I can give you, based on my own personal experience, is simply yourself. When I first came out of the closet, I hardly knew any other gay men in my city, and wanted almost desperately to fit in with those that I met from the internet and in real life. Most of them expected me to act a certain way, listen to certain types of music that I did not like, wanted me to dress in clothes that I was not comfortable with at all, and expected me to be something of a promiscuous person. None of those things is really whom I am, but I wanted so bad to fit in and find my place in gay society that I gave in and for a long time, I was making myself miserable. It took me more than a year to come to my senses and realize that being myself, and all that comes with it, is good enough, and that any man who can't accept me without trying to mold me into his image of who and what he thinks I should be, is not worthy of my time.