How to Win Back Your Ex-Lover

A Few Simple Rules for Reclaiming Lost Love

So the love of your life dumped you and the world, as you know it, has ended. After the initial shock of having your chest ripped open, your heart torn out, sliced, diced, sautéed and served to you for breakfast, what do you do? Well, if you are like 99.9 percent of people the first thought that races through your mind is "how can I get this wonderful person who did this to me to return to me?"

This isn't an article about moving on. It isn't an article about the natural grieving process than one endures after such a loss. This is an article about how to get the person back into your life. If he or she truly loved you once, there is a chance you can rekindle the relationship. Here's how to do it.

First let's go over the "what not to dos." Because some of these involve our first instincts, they must be addressed immediately. So here's what NOT to do:

1.
Call the person and plead, beg, cry or threaten suicide. Never works. Do you really want them back because they feel guilty? No. Plus it will only lower your already shattered self-esteem. Resist all urges to call.

2.
Go to the person's place of work and do any of the above. Same thing goes with going to their house or their usual hang-out. Resist all urges to "see them" and "talk about it." They will think you're stalking them.

3.
Involve a mutual friend in "getting you two back together." If your friend is smart, they will steer clear. If they aren't, they might end up losing both of you as friends.

4.
Send any sort of gift: Flowers, cards, etc. This also pertains to letters, e-mails or text messages. Again - no contact means no contact.

5.
The biggest error - call the person (remember, I said no contact) and say "I just want to be friends." Because you don't want to be friends at all, you want them back romantically. Do you really want them calling you and telling you about their latest paramour? No. So don't call them up with the "friendship" ruse.