A Letter to My Grandmother

My Dearest Grandma:

I am writing this letter with such a heavy heart. The day may come for you to go to a much better place, a place that you have worked your whole life to be able to see. I won't be able to go there with you just yet, and there are just a few things that I wanted to say to you now, that I should have said to you when you were still able to hear them, and know that it was me, your granddaughter, that they were coming from.

I don't know how to thank you for praying constantly and fervently for me. For I know that your prayers, along with my parents' prayers, are what have kept me out of harm's way, and seen me through difficult times. You have been a distant, yet strong, source of strength for me. You have done so much in your life. You raised two children on your own. You had some very successful businesses. And you did these all in a time that wasn't easy for our people. But you never let anyone or anything beat you. You would always say "I ain't dead yet", whenever a tough situation came your way.

I'll never forget all the summers you anxiously awaited our arrival. You'd have ribs smokin' on the grill, and the most wonderful spread of food that any child--or adult--could ever ask for. There wasn't anything, anything at all, that Timmy or I asked for, that you didn't quickly provide.

Grandma, Christ has always been your testimony. His word has never been far from your lips. You taught me something that I will always take with me. You said, "hold to God's hand Audra, and don't let go." There have been times where I have slipped along the way. But silently, on my bed at night, Grandma, I heard your voice. I felt your prayers.

You told me when I was a young child, that you saw a call on my life to be a powerful prayer warrior. I didn't know how precious a calling that is. I am starting to learn it now. I am scared to accept it now, Grandma, because I am scared that it means I have to let you go. I am not ready to do that.