A Fool Runs Through It

I should not have done it.

But they say hindsight is 20/20 vision. And if that's the case, I would have been looking up at the object of my regret. Since I'm on my back, composing this e-mail. All I wanted to do was have a nice quiet jog around the Medford, Oregon neighborhood, so as not to lose any of the conditioning for the upcoming marathon. Given that my mother-in-law's house was on a hill at the edge of town, I had little choice but to run on the hills, as steep as they were. Training must go on, right?

Loping quietly downhill early in the morning, there were no convenience stores or gas stations on the wide, lonely mountain road that I chose to take (note : "I chose" nowadays usually means, in lieu of experiencing the element of freedom and self-determination inherent in long-distance running, I used this particular route because my wife told me to). Running downhill is not so tough, especially if you pace yourself gently; and you learn a few things:

(1) German Shepherds, unleashed, can bound down a grassy hillside and onto a sidewalk in about 2.3 seconds to protect their territory
(2) It is possible for the average, out-of-shape runner, without noticing, to cross a newly-made highway in the dark in about 1.99 seconds
(3) German Shepherds, unlike some runners you know, are not stupid enough to risk getting run over by a speeding car

It is also easy to realize that there should have been signs along the way that read: "WARNING! Do NOT try to run down this hill! You may have to run back up again!". But what can I say-- hindsight is twenty-twenty.

At the bottom of the hill, something called Motivation for a Personal Challenge (this is usually a hoax, a clever disguise for that ol' demon WannaTrySumthingStupid) told me to run an extra mile. It was downhill after all, right? So no effort involved, right? Right?

There is a reason I am not an accountant or mathematician. Consider this profound truth: Four miles of downhill have to result in four miles going back up, especially if you want to take a shower at a familiar house soon after running. But somehow that reality was lost on me at the time. You-Can-Do-It! Go-Go-Go!