Middle child syndrome is not a myth.
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Always Stuck in the Middle
It sucks being the middle child. Even though I am pushing 40 years old, the effects of being the middle child still linger with me to this day. I know my parents love me but I am always, and have always been, the least appreciated out of us three children.Middle child syndrome is very real. I know because I live it on a daily basis. The middle child often feels that they don't belong. The first-born sibling is put on a pedestal and the youngest sibling gets away with the most. The middle child is just - there. There are the least number of pictures of the middle child and the middle child has to work harder in order to be noticed.
Some studies say that middle children do not like to take the limelight and that they are not overachievers. I have found this theory to be false. As a middle child, I was always an overachiever in everything I did and I craved attention. I pushed myself extremely hard and had to excel in everything I did so my parents would notice me. Even if they didn't, others would congratulate me and reward me for my accomplishments.
Middle children tend to be very creative and artistic. I have found this to be true in my situation. I have always been gifted with a musical talent that I embraced as a child. I used my talent and excelled in all musical aspects in school. Music was the one area in my life where I was secure. I knew that I was good and music became my safe haven. Even though I excelled in this area, I still wasn't good enough to earn the acceptance of my parents. My older sibling's activities and my younger sibling's lack of interest in activities is what they focused their attention on.
Even as adults, things have not changed. My younger sibling and I went through a divorce at the same time. My parents depended on me to help my younger sibling and they were so focused on his problems, they forgot that I was going through the same thing.
Comments
karl joseph gamboa
(Guest)
(Guest)
02/02/2010
I'm also a victim of middle child syndrome.. my parents hates me and i feel the same thing.i always feel "out of place, they don't appreciate my work, despite of doing all the things they want.. but now.. i am 20, i will what ever i want.. my parents are irresponsible!!
cindy
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/23/2010
im also a middle child and never thought middle child syndrome was a real thing until now. ive always felt unspecial, unappreciated, and just there. i stopped trying so hard in high school but thought maybe i should try harder in college and graduate first than my older sister and ill get noticed. im 24 years old, i just graduated last june before my older sister and am still unnoticed. since graduation ive been trying to find a good job, but no luck. my mom thinks i sit at home all day and do nothing but i sit at home look for jobs, apply, go on interviews, take care of the house. but it all goes unnoticed. shes constantly bugging me about when im gonna get a job and i just feel more and more discouraged. all i want to do now is get a job and move the hell out of here so i dont have to deal with this anymore.
val
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/22/2010
thanks for your article!now i know that i'm not the only one who feels this way and that middle child syndrome is real!i work my ass off to please my parents, esp my mom and they never appreciate the fact that i even try.i tried to define my position in the family but i was always forgotten.we always ate our dinner together as a family and there was one time i had to stay back in sch for some club activity.all of my friends had gone back and it was already dark outside.i couldnt walk home as we lived in suburb.i walked to my grandma's hse which was nearer and told her what happened.she sent me home and was so angry on my behalf that nobody remembered to pick me up and they just had dinner without even noticing i wasnt there.
i never really recover aft that.
Ringo
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/19/2010
It's exactly true that middle children work hard. I studied hard and got the best grades. I obeyed my parents' ridiculous rules. Instead of expressing myself freely, I behaved in the way my parents wanted. Instead of stating my opinion or feelings, I said things they wanted to hear. All for getting attention. All for hearing "Wow, you are more reliable than your siblings." I'm 30 years old and it has not happened. Finally, at this age, I realized it will NEVER, EVER happen. So, I decided, instead of spending any energy on making the dumn headed two people happy for what I have accomplished, I will focus on making myself happy. I know I am a hard worker. I know I have accomplished so much. I know I am reliable. I know I deserve to live as someone who matters.
Larry
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/13/2010
Hey,I know just how you feel. Because I'm a middle child, too! And it really does SUCK!
My Older brother is self centered ass all hell and my younger sister Mocks me all the time and I just hit 42 Dec,1. I think that you should just say to your self and say, "Fuck them both!" And "START" doing your own thing and "STOP" Competing with your older brother and your younger sister. Just say, "FUCK THEM BOTH!" And stop trying so heard to be noticed! TAKE IT FROM ME: I HAD TO PUT UP A LIFETIME WITH THERE SHIT!" And I'm "DONE" Every time my brother calls he always wanted something? He "NEVER" calls to talk, he always wanted something? LIKE: WATCH MY KIDS! CAN I BORROW MONEY FROM YOU THAT I HAVE NO INTENTIONS OF EVER PAYING ME BACK! He seems to think that every one owes him a living and hes the "ONLY-ONE" how has to be some where and hes the "ONLY-ONE" Who has a life! And he doesn't care about anyone else but his. He's an ASSHOLE! and my smart mouth sister keeps on contradicting everything I
gil
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/10/2010
i have to say i totally agree with urb article.. eldest is on pedestal.. youngest get away with everything. And we middle child worked so hard and achieve so much yet received very little recognition. But i kinda become immuned already.. whatever!!
yet another middle child
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/08/2010
i know how you feel i am a middle child and i get no attention from my parents unless i get in trouble or i do something amazing. i mean i kinda like not being around my parents (only 13) and like to me like i am people try to change me but this is who i am and i cant change. the only time i get attention is when i do the only talent i somewhat have singing and i am an ok writer. people think im goth cause i am a middle child im not sure if thats true or not but i am a middle child and i hate it! my friends say they know how i feel but they dont and my unlce (youngest) talked to me about it and he doesnt believe that middle child syndrome is a real thing. but it is and they just dont understand us.
Anonymous girl
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/05/2010
I really feel the same, but I´m only 17. I think most middle children are over-achivers ... which is really true! I´m an over-achiever but I´m not talented so my older sister and my little sister always gets attention from both of my parents ... I study really hard and get better grades than my little sister but that is the only time if I get any attention ... but most of the time they give their full attention to my elder sister and little sister. If I beg for help I don´t get it, while my little sister gets everything, she gets away with everything.
It sucks to be a middle child, not getting any attention frm my parents and not being recognised as one in the family. I have always tried to get their attention.
I get mad when I read articles saying that middle children are not over achiers that is so not true.
My older sister likes to
Colin
(Guest)
(Guest)
01/02/2010
This article was really an eye-opener for me. I am a middle child. For the past 30 odd years, I have constantly been trying hard to win the approval of my parents, which I feel has until this day been withheld from me, even though it had been freely given to my elder brother. Only his achievements, talents and accomplishments are noticed, remembered and brought up time and time again; mine go uncommented and even if noticed, are quickly forgotten. Now that I know that parents actually expect less from their middle child, I'm going to spend much less emotional energy trying to please my parents!
Grace
(Guest)
(Guest)
12/24/2009
know exactly what your talking about...i have an older brother who has a child, isn't married, hasn't been to college and has zero money saved up. my younger brother is doing bad in school and repeating a grade for the second time. I'm the one they dont need to worry about. They are either worrying about my older or younger brother. I'm just kind of there...I strive in school and even have a job, but nothing seems to get their attention. they are constantly letting my younger brother away with things I could never get away with, and my older brother is constantly being put on a pedastal.
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