And So Are the Days of Who's Lives?

Ever since the day I came home from the hospital with my mom, I've been watching Days of Our Lives (DOOL). Of course, as a newborn, I wasn't the one choosing to do so. My nanny, however, was a committed fan. I have gone through stints of dedicated viewing to months of time off. But one thing is for sure, the days of the lives of people in Salem are not like the days of my life here in Midwestern small-town. But just for fun, think of what life would be like if we really lived in a soap opera.

The first difference is something I like to call the "I am my own sister" phenomenon. Really, is it possible to design a family tree for the entire web of characters on a soap opera? I've been watching DOOL for literally all of my life, and I never really have grasped who's related to whom. Just when I think I've got it figured out, there's a love story between two people that I thought were first cousins. And then it turns out that they may be first cousins, but not by blood because someone's mom died and their dad remarried the step-mom. What??? Yeah, it's too confusing for me, too.

Another difference is the amount of drinking that takes place. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is not the norm to have a tray with a bottle of brandy, ice chest, and glasses sitting in your living room. And in the middle of the day, who just randomly starts drinking straight liquor while plotting to take over the world? If you know anyone like that, I'd be leery of his or her company.