How My Fiance's Battle with Cancer Changed My Life

Valentine's Day, 2003, I received a life-changing phone call that I never will forget. "Adam is at UMC Hospital in Room 407, and he wants you to come see him as soon as possible." After she explained that he had been rushed to the hospital via ambulance where he then had a large tumor removed from his colon and appendix, I began to understand why he had been acting so cold and distant over the past several weeks. He had cancer.

Over the next six months, I grew more as a person than I had grown in all twenty-six of my previous years combined. I changed from being "me-oriented" to being more concerned with the needs of others. I began to realize that a lot of my "needs" were merely "wants", and that most of the issues that I had thought were important in life, in reality meant little or nothing at all. I began to view the world with compassion, and this is what changed the way I would see the world forever.

Prior to this time in my life, I would have never considered that I would make a wonderful nurse, comforting caretaker, or that I could be completely self-sacrificing without resentment. Prior to this, I also had no real understanding of the true value or fragility of life.

As the weeks and months progressed, I witnessed Adam making significant changes in order to preserve his health and life. Unfortunately, he also went through periods of self-denial and indulgence that ultimately cost him his life. The more I cried and pleaded for him to take better care of himself, the more he resented me and pushed me away. In the end, he apologized and thanked me for my love and devotion. Without hearing those words, I truly feel I would have never survived to this day.