Things to Avoid at All Cost: Cox High Speed Internet

Remember that movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Remember how the Christopher Lloyd character invented a method for killing toons? A method had to be invented because, of course, merely dropping an anvil on a toon's head or pushing them off a Utahesque butte won't do the trick. The Christopher Lloyd character developed this thing called "the dip" into which a toon could be inserted, culminating in death of the cartoon character.

Well, if I ever happen upon that big, dumbass doofus Digital Max-that insipid cartoon spokesman for Cox Communications-I'm going to dip his butt into the dip and erase him forever. Of course, if the dip works anything like Cox Communications vaunted high speed internet, I'll be holding Digital Max in that dip for a few hours. The billionaire 80 year old sisters who own Cox Communications could get me information I'm looking for faster than Cox high speed internet. Heck, their dead in the ground father could probably access data faster than Cox high speed internet can.

Yes, folks, I'm here to warn you against taking the plunge and investing in Cox high speed internet access. In fact, Cox high speed internet access is to be avoided at all cost. It's been a long time since I had to deal with dial up internet access, but to best of my recollection the waiting time for pages to load was roughly the same as Cox's high speed cable modem offers. I'm not sure how often a Cox Communications commercials airs per day in my hometown, but I'm nearly certain it's somewhere in the 200 to 300 times a day range. (Heck, they've even got a whole channel devoted to "informing" customers how to use their hardware.) And considering that Cox Cable is the only game in town when it comes to cable television service, that just seems unnecessary to the digital max.