Breast Cancer Victim's Husband Speaks Out

Cancer, the word alone invokes anxiety and the stigma of suffering and death. When that word becomes a diagnosis, anxiety turns into terror. One of every eight women will receive the diagnosis of breast cancer at some point in her lifetime. For one woman in eight the anxiety of “What if?” will turn into the terror of “What now?” I recently interviewed the spouse of a cancer survivor, and his words come from a wisdom created by suffering. 

“It was September 22, 1998 when my wife’s surgeon called to tell us what I already knew. The large mass growing in her left breast was cancerous. It has been six years now since we experienced that terror. We were thrust into a strange new world awash in emotions, options, decisions and advice. Our days filled with learning the language and protocols of this “subculture”. Terms like mastectomy, lumpectomy, lymph edema, Cytoxan, Taxol, infiltrating ductile carcinoma, high-grade ductile carcinoma in-situ, vascular invasion, metastatic carcinoma, residual viable tumor, and cancer stages I II IIIA IIIB and IV have entered our vocabularies. We became quite versed in the ways of Oncology.” 

The fear still shows through his eyes, years later, at saying the word “cancer”. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair, and continues. 

“Despite treatment and her desperate fight for life, her cancer overwhelmed her. Even though she appeared to go into remission after chemo and radiation, it recurred within 6 months settling in her bones and finally her brain. My wife of sixteen years was sent home to die October 23, 2000. She died a week later, at age 38.”