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Please Follow Label Instructions

Or Should We?

By Jacques Boulerice, published Feb 16, 2007

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Maybe we're not as smart as we think we are, or maybe someone out there just doesn't think we are, but at any rate, we seem to be getting directions for the most ridiculous things these days. No doubt, some of this is because America is lawsuit happy, and if someone didn't tell you to turn the handle and push a door open, you'd walk right into it and sue someone because it didn't open for you. The United States is the only country in the "western world" that has more lawyers than doctors, and that's because there's more money to be made from suing doctors than being one.

I guess maybe we do need to be protected from ourselves, but there comes a time when the instructions given to us "for our own good" become just plain dumb. I would like to submit for your perusal several examples that I personally encountered.

I came across a video game on the net that I decided to try, so I clicked to download the free "trial version" and was greeted by a screen containing the usual 407 pages of rules and regulations, including a section that warned me against "deconstructing, rewriting, or modifying the codes" for this game, followed by a couple of buttons. One button said "I agree" (not to reverse-engineer or alter the game) and the other said "decline terms".

Just how stupid is that? If someone had the knowledge and ability to alter the game, would he be stopped by that little button? Would he say "Oh my God, I can't do this" and click "decline"? Are we on the same page here?

How about this one? I purchased some candy recently that was in a shrink-wrapped package, and it actually had these instructions on the box: 1) remove plastic wrapper 2) open box 3) enjoy. "Enjoy"? Why else would I have bought the stuff if not to enjoy it? More interesting was the multiple package of chewing gum wherein every individual package was marked at 30 cents, yet at the same time was also marked "not for individual sale". In the legal world, wouldn't that be known as a conflict of interest?

There's a warning in the instruction booklet of a hair dryer I bought which says "do not use while taking a shower". Hello??? How was I supposed to know? No wonder I can't get my hair to dry!

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Please Follow Label Instructions

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WARNING! This item is dangerous. Please check label.

Credit: Miguelwhee (DSCN0069_r.jpg)

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Takeaways

Candy box comes with eating instructions
When NOT to use a hair dryer
Not responsible for loss or damages

Comments

Comments 1 - 7 of 7

Jessica Loyd

Lol, hilarious... It's not really stupidity that causes these though, just greed. America (and dont be mad, i AM american) is soooooooo lawsuit happy. anytime someone does something dumb and hurts themselves they just figure, ah well might as well sue them and get something out of this life experience. i swear, soon any straw u get is going to say "caution, do not stick up your nose"

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Posted on 05/16/2007 at 2:05:00 AM

Alyce Rocco

"ROFL" Great article and oh so true. Often wondered about the hot coffee on the leg burns. Did she have a witness who saw the coffee spill? How did the judge and jury know she didn't dump it on herself. Usually uninforced are the don't drink and drive laws, I mean, even a soda. She drove off, drinking the coffee. Case should have been thrown out of court.

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Posted on 04/05/2007 at 10:04:00 PM

Theresa Sylvester

Haha, that was funny. I was very much amused.

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Posted on 03/24/2007 at 1:03:00 AM

Carol Gilbert

Amen.

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Posted on 02/25/2007 at 6:02:00 PM

Jacques Boulerice

Thank you for your comments. Personally, deep down I don't think it's stupidity, but rather a misplaced belief in our own invulnerability that leads us to do these things. If more people had read the original instructions, we wouldn't need to have these extra warnings.

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Posted on 02/22/2007 at 5:02:00 PM

A. L. Fox

So true. I had friend who tasted my strawberry shampoo; I guess he didn't read the warning: "Do not take internally", or he wouldn't have done it.

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Posted on 02/22/2007 at 8:02:00 AM

Tray H

Hahaha this article made me laugh because it's so true! Sometimes I think this world is going nuts with how legal everything has gotten. Sadly, I think the reason companies send us these silly messages is because people have given them a reason to.

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