21 Ways to Better Understand Your Man

1. Men are not mind readers. Ask for what you want with exactness. Hints of any kind will either not be noticed or misread. Just come out with it.

2. Most men are natural problem solvers. If you actually want help solving a problem, your man will help you get straight to a solution. Call your girlfriends if you are just looking for sympathy or attention.

3. Shopping is your sport, Monday Night Football is his. Let him enjoy his moment of Zen, while you enjoy yours.

4. If you can whine about him not being romantic and suave all the time, he can whine about you not wearing lingerie to bed and your 6 month long "headache".

5. Men consider crying a form of blackmail, but if it works...

6. If you've handed your man a "Honey-Do" list, do not follow with a list of instructions of how to accomplish his tasks. He made it through part of his life without your instruction, believe it or not.

7. When your man asks you a question, a simple answer of "Yes" or "No" will typically suffice.

8. If you have a nightly "headache" that has lasted for six months or more, please make an appointment with a physician and a counselor or sex therapist.

9. When arguing, men like to refer to the present because they know women have a special section reserved in their brains that can store an arsenal of fumbled comments from the past. In the world of men, all comments are inadmissible after 7 days, unless he opens his arsenal first; then you may fire away.

10. Practice putting the toilet seat down. He needs it up, you need it down. If you can whine about it being up, he can whine about it being down.

11. If your BMI is over 25, do not ask your man if you are fat. It's called entrapment.

12. It is counter-productive to your man's sense of peace to make you angry. If you have misconstrued a fumbled comment into a "You don't love me anymore"-fest, you might want to give him a chance to rephrase. Nine times out of ten, he didn't mean for it to come out in a way that would get him in trouble.

13. Only attempt to carry on a conversation during a Television show if you desire to become irate and start a fight. Otherwise, save comments for during commercials, or for some men, until the power goes out.