Incorporating Characters' Thoughts into Your Fiction Writing

If you ever stop to listen to your own internal monologue, you'll discover that your thoughts are almost overwhelming. From running commentary on the television show you're watching to those terrible things you'd never say to Aunt Mildred, you are always talking to yourself. Characters in fiction writing are no different, and sometimes you need to incorporate characters' thoughts into your stories.

Direct vs. Indirect Thoughts

Characters' thoughts in fiction writing can be either direct or indirect. An indirect thought is one on which the narrator comments during the prose. For example, if you are writing a story about a young girl whose date doesn't show up for the prom, you could write:

She couldn't believe that he hadn't arrived, and she was beginning to wonder if she was going to miss her only chance to go to prom.

That was an indirect character thought because you don't give the exact wording of the character's inner dialogue, but you give the gist of what she is thinking.

A direct character thought, however, is written similarly to dialogue. You don't include quotation marks when you are giving a direct character thought, but most authors use italics to indicate that the words are a characters' thoughts. For example, using the above situation, you could write:

I can't believe he hasn't arrived, Amy thought. I'm going to miss my only chance to go to prom!

When incorporating direct thoughts into your fiction writing, you don't need to include the tag Amy thought, but sometimes it works and sounds better if you do.

Reasons for Incorporating Thoughts Into Your Fiction Writing

Sometimes, it isn't enough to simply narrate. If you need to convey a character's state of mind, for example, you might not be able to do so effectively without referring to the character's thoughts. It gives the reader an "insider's perspective" on the character's motivations and reasoning.