Christmas 'Falls' Upon Us Earlier and Earlier

Move Over Grinch! Santa Joins Holiday Stealing

(By Donner, er, Donna Talarico)

In journalism the term evergreen refers to a story that is not time-sensitive. In holiday terms, it should not mean the same thing. Yet, evergreens representing the December holiday are being planted in living rooms and showrooms earlier and earlier each year. 

I can deal with Christmas in July. One hot summer day with a Baywatch hunk wearing nothing but a red thong bottom and a Santa hat passing out gifts can be fun. But, Christmas in October and November I cannot handle.

I love Christmas. But Jesus, can't we wait? I also love the fall and everything about it. I like oak and maple trees and the brilliant colors they and other decidious trees turn this time of year. But how the hell can I see the lovely foliage? Their beauty is blinded by the bright lights already strung around their coniferous cousins. I like Frosty, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus and her gift-giving hubby. But why must they steal the thunder of folks like Sacajawea? (And anyway- aren't they worried that this warm fall will melt Frosty? I mean- Hello!)