How to Identify an Abuser

In many cases, an abuser is not abusive in the early stages of a relationship. If abusive behaviors occurred in the immediate stages of a love affair, chances are, the relationship would end immediately. Usually, abusive behaviors occur over longer periods of time, otherwise, victims would not stay in a relationship and employees in the counseling/domestic violence fields would probably be out of business. Although an abuser may not show his/her true colors until both people are comfortable in a relationship, there are many ways to identify red flags that your relationship may take a 360 in the future.

How do you identify an abuser?

RED FLAG #1

In the beginning of relationships, it is exciting and new. Many couples want to spend alot of time together, however, if every minute includes togetherness and eliminates friends and family then this can shoot off a major red flare. Isolation is usually a warning sign that you may be teamed up with an abuser. If the person you are in a relationship with wants you all to themselves and often turns you against family and friends, this serves as a major warning and usually will only get worse. If an abuser takes away your friends and family, the next step can mean isolating you from society, not allowing you to socialize or work, and forcing you to live life cooped up. Some may look at these gestures or behaviors as being flattering because "he/she really loves me and wants to be with me all of the time". The truth is, a victim probably will not feel this way after they realize they are living worse than a person in an 8X8 jail cell.

RED FLAG #2