What's the Deal with Toothpaste?

Toothpaste fascinates me. It just grabs me by the low one, like John Kruk or Lance Armstrong, and completely fascinates me. It is a slab of gew that cleans our teeth. Most gew would probably kill the average individual. If I found gew on the ground, I wouldn't put it in my mouth, If I found gew on the wall, wouldn't go near my mouth, but gew from a white and red tube, C'mon, I will throw it right in my mouth and love it.

I was in the toothpaste isle, or the tooth care isle, for any dentist reading, hoping for a accurate description of how toothpaste was created. Which it is. I was standing in the isle for about a minute trying to figure out which flavor to buy. After not figuring that out, And staring at a magazine of John Kruk and Lance Armstrong on the front cover, talking about "The One", I realized, what the hell am I doing and why are their so many toothpaste flavors. What happened to just original and the delicious toothpaste that was out when I was a child. Now there is cinnamon, strawberry, vanilla spice, chocolate, blueberry, orange and I think I saw a snickers flavor, not sure, it may have just been candy miss placed, but I think I did. I then saw on the back of the tube, it said, if swallowed, immediately contact poison control. What! C'mon! How the hell can they say this, with these flavors. How am I not going to swallow snickers flavor, that is such a tease. Original toothpaste, I wouldn't worry about swallowing, it's just not tasty, but when you have a delicious flavor like chocolate taking over ever taste bud in my mouth when you are brushing, it becomes difficult to not swallow. I would add it to cakes and brownies if I could. It would give it a nice zing of flavor, while preventing cavities and plaque build up. If you were to mix chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry toothpaste, toss a banana in the mix, you have a delicious banana split. They have to start making flavors like grass, table, and wet cushion, because they are getting to tasty. I will admit, it does make brushing my teeth more enjoyable.