How to Deal with Cultural Differences in a Marriage

My mother-in-law recently gave me something that can only be described as a pre-packaged cube of layered fat and meat. My investigation into this strange gift revealed that it is like bacon, called speck and that in her culture it is the basis of almost every soup.

You can be certain that I've never used speck, much less had some sitting in my refrigerator door where this one now resides. To be honest, I don't have any intention of using speck as a soup starter. I like things like ginger-carrot soup or vegetarian chili and speck was not on the menu at my childhood home.

This recent scenario reminded me of the scene in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where upon learning her niece's husband is a vegetarian, an aunt offers to make a lamb. When it comes to cultural differences in a marriage, it's not just language that is lost in translation.

These little differences can sometimes add up and feel overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be that way. There are some very simple ways to keep both your sanity and your identity when dealing with cultural differences in a marriage.

#1: Remember That Intention Counts

In the case of the speck, my mother-in-law just wanted to give me a little help with my kitchen supplies. On one hand I could be offended, after all I'm perfectly capable of establishing a pantry and the basic supplies needed for feeding my family. I could interpret her gift of speck as an affront to my capabilities but I'm pretty sure that was not her intention.

It's more likely that she knew I would have no idea where to buy speck and that I shouldn't go without. Taking time to understand people's intention is important in dealing with cultural differences in a marriage. Plus, it's easier to assume the best intentions than to get frazzled over a piece of meat.

#2: Don't Bend Too Much

When I was first getting to know my husband's family, I was overly polite in the food department. I come from a family that rarely cooked red meat and had a very light menu. Not vegetarian, but more of a pescatarian background. I'm not a purist by any means but I could easily go for months without meat.