Missing Word Can Be a Pain in the Keister

A Writer's Apology to Her Editor for Not Sticking Her "But" Where it Belonged

Dear Editor:

I'm writing this letter to inform you of my missing "but." I noticed my but was missing when I read my column in the previous week's newspaper and one of the sentences didn't sound quite right. The sentence read, "Yes, it's in the computer." The sentence should have read, "Yes, 'but' it's in the computer" Do you see how my coordinating conjunction would have made the sentence argumentative instead of agreeable? What a world of difference a little but makes!

Please don't get me wrong - in no way am I accusing you of touching my but. I know it's your job as my editor to correct things, but I proofread my copy before I sent it to you, and it was I who rearranged that sentence on my laptop and somehow took my but out and neglected to stick my but back in.

I hate when that happens.

In the future, I vow to proofread my columns more carefully, especially keeping a keen eye out for but ho..., um, empty but spots.

And people think this job is so glamorous. Do they have any idea how humiliating it is to completely destroy a parenthetical expression?

But, I digress. See? Where would that sentence be with no but? The but is necessary in so many ways.

The main reason I'm writing is to apologize for the poor proofreading on my part and to reassure you that I will be watching every but from here on out. Spelling and grammar checkers are helpful, but they don't know if you've lost your but. They can only do so much. You have to look out for your own buts, that's for sure.

In closing, I want to thank you for allowing me to address my but concerns, and I hope you don't find the tone of this letter too cheeky in any way.

Sincerely,

Crystal Wergin

P.S. Being a rather sensitive writer, when I see you next I trust you will refrain from making any humorous but cracks.