How to Talk to Your Son About Porn

This can be a wonderful opportunity for you to share your sexual values with your son. Looking at pornography is a common and normal behavior for a teenage boy. He's curious and like most men, visual. This can be a perfect teaching opportunity.

The way that you approach the subject with your son not only allows you to convey your beliefs and values, but also it conveys how approachable you are when it comes to difficult subjects. I recommend doing it in a casual manner, letting him know that you are comfortable talking about it and that you are comfortable with the fact that he is looking.

You may want to address that using pornography can be a healthy part of an individual's or couple's sex-life, but also discuss the potential negatives. One fear is that he will develop unrealistic expectations of women in general as well as unrealistic expectations of any girlfriend or wife he may have during his lifetime. 97% of the population does NOT look like those women nor do most perform the acts he might be seeing. Expecting this only leads to disappointment, hurt and dysfunctional relationships. This type of material tends to objectify women, perpetuate sexual stereotypes and create unrealistic messages about sexuality. You can use everyday situations to help him navigate these confusing messages and to learn from them.

Take advantage of everyday situations to discuss his thoughts and to distill your values. When you are driving with him in the car and see a provocative billboard, ask him about the product being sold and how sex plays a part or about how the woman in the ad is being objectified. Many television shows these days trivialize sex and the way women are treated. Use this opportunity to discuss how he feels about casual sex or the way someone was treated in a certain scene.

Another suggestion is to pick up a book or two on the topic of sex education. I recommend checking out Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) as one good online source of information. Also, take some time looking at what your local bookstore offers under the heading of Adolescences and/or Sexuality.