How to Win Any Argument Without Blaming

How to Win Any Argument Without Blaming Tip #1: Blame Yourself

First, blame yourself. This may sound odd, but you will gain a big advantage by blaming yourself. Rest assured, your opponent is going to blame you. By blaming yourself, you will have a better idea of what's going on in your opponent's head, and will be able to anticipate the things he or she says.

Now your instinct will be to blame yourself, decide the reasoning is weak, and then go on to blaming the opponent. This doesn't do the trick, and only hurts you. Your opponent won't stop there. You need to go through the reasoning and blame yourself, even if it does seem invalid.

You'll be surprised how many times you'll blame yourself, think it through, and then realize that your initial thoughts weren't as correct as you thought. You can't always be right, so this step will help you realize when you're wrong. You haven't argued your side yet, so you can quietly back down without losing face. Part of winning every argument is not taking place in arguments you're going to lose! It's important you think this through before arguing; otherwise you'll be locked into your position and cannot back down without losing face. (Ethical side note: If you realize you are wrong, at any point, please stop arguing.)

Finally, by blaming yourself, you can better consider (and of course refute) what your opponent is saying.

How to Win Any Argument Without Blaming Tip #2: Don't Talk, Listen

In too many arguments, one side says something, then the other side says something else, and then monologue circles into oblivion. This doesn't work, so you won't do this.

Instead, you won't talk at the beginning. Your opponent has some points in his or her head, and will want to express these points. Until the person has expressed these points and believes you understand them, that person will not listen very well to your points. Nor will the person accept your points, regardless of how technically correct you are.