Murder Most Merry

I love a murder mystery. Television's Criminal Minds, Agatha Christie's novels, the complete cases of Sherlock Holmes, an actual murder trial I covered for the local newspaper -- any old murder will do.

And apparently I'm not alone. The murder mystery "just for fun" craze is sweeping the country. Admit, if you will, as evidence, the increasing popularity of parlor games such as "How to Host a Murder" and the weekend retreats to metropolitan hotels staging "participation" murder mysteries for their fun-loving guests.
Lacking the spare $300 required for a weekend escapade, I chose to host a murder instead.

The scene was an icy winter evening in 1936 at the Watersdown Mansion -- otherwise known as my modest two-story home by the river. The not-so-distinguished guests (actually, my relatives -- carefully chosen for the evening on the basis of their thrill-seeking reputations) posed as friend and relatives of Sir Roger Watersdown, principle shareholder of the conglomerate Watersdown Beverages Inc. and tipsy letch extraordinare.

Arriving at my home in regal dress were Dr. Malcolm K.T. "Mal" Praktiss, healer to the rich; Miranda T. Shetes, a beautiful American actress known as Randy; Roger S.B. Astird, a mountain climber who is Sir Roger's illegitimate son -- kidnapped in infancy by his nurse; Dame Allison "Ali" Bigh, a writer of English mystery novels --- at the mansion to gather material for her new book; Prosper Alvin "Pro" Bates, lawyer and sometimes golf companion of Sir Roger; Sir Roger's nephew Donald J. "Donny" Brooks, a one-time fashion model known as the "Far Eastern Eye Shadow Girl"; and Sir Roger's confidential secretary Eiguille R. Aminmund, ERA for short.

The initial amazement at seeing each other in costume and hearing the elaborate accents we had devised could have provided enough entertainment for a full evening. One cousin, dressed in a black slip and black hose, twirled a red feather boa and turned sharply on her heels in caricature of a sleazy star of stage and screen.