How to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom Without Losing Your Identity

We live in a society in which a woman's value is often determined by her contributions to society. Increasingly, a woman who chooses to stay at home with her children, rather than working a job outside of the home, is confronted with a feeling of worthlessness. This feeling is magnified by the fact that more women are developing careers of their own prior to having children. By the time a woman makes the switch from full-time employee to full-time mommy, she has already been conditioned to measure her self-worth in terms of her financial contributions to her family as well as by her professional accomplishments.

I fell into this category when I made the switch from full-time professional to full-time mom. I had become successful in my career and felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment in my job. However, when my focused changed from lucrative employment to motherhood, I felt my self-confidence plummet. I was used to judging my effectiveness by how many reports I completed, or how many employees I counseled in a given day. Suddenly I had no meter which I could use to gauge my success at being a parent. Through my years as a stay-at-home mom, I have developed ways in which I can be a dedicated, full-time mom, while still nurturing my personal identity apart from motherhood.

1. Realize your worth. Take mental note of what you do each day. You are a laundress, a maid, an accountant, a child-care provider, a nutritionist, a nurse, a cook and a master organizer. You do not get guaranteed lunch breaks, paid time off or sick leave. You work around the clock rain or shine without financial compensation. Keep in mind that you are not lazy if you stay home to take care of your children. You do not need to give your husband a list of all of the things you accomplished during the day in order to prove that you are working hard. The compulsion to account for what you spend your time on is instilled in women who are used to working jobs outside of the home. Refuse to give in to this desire. You are worth more as a stay at home mother than you could ever be as a full-time professional.